FACT:

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee) 07/22/2018 at 18:12 • Filed to: None

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Second dates are more stressful than first dates.

A second date means something is going well so the stakes  are much higher than the f irst date. If you screw it up it means you lost more than if you screwed up on a first date.

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/22/2018 at 18:20

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ive never been on a date and im married for nearly 16 years now

howd that happen?

the entire concept of a date sounds stressfull to me

E90M3 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/22/2018 at 18:25

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I recently went on a second date with a girl, we went to the driving range; her idea. Must have gone well because I played pretty well on Saturday, had two legit birdie putts. Oh, and yeah I’m seeing her again tomorrow. 

WilliamsSW > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/22/2018 at 18:26

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Yeah but the 3rd date is even worse 

Sovande > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/22/2018 at 18:28

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You are correct. The other problem with second dates is that they can be a let down. You have a great first date, rose colored glasses, all is terrific and the second date you pick her up and before you can leave she has to give her cat medicine which involves a rubber glove and then she takes you to an art show at a church and asks about your faith and tries to hold your hand as you walk in and says things like we just started dating but I want to know all about you” and then you have to figure out how to flee without being a total asshole.

It scarred me. 

For Sweden > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/22/2018 at 18:33

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Fact: dates are wasted time that should be spent wrenching

Ash78, voting early and often > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/22/2018 at 18:34

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No, the hardest dates of all are the ones when you’ve been married 10+ years and have kids.

At least regular dates have some mystery and anticipation. You’re not saying “Did you just take a dump?! I was hoping to come in there and brush my teeth but I guess I’ll skip it.”

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 07/22/2018 at 18:42

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How does such a thing even happen? Do you live in India?

fhrblig > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 07/22/2018 at 18:45

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You can still go on them, you know. Not everything has to be done in order. We certainly didn't do things in the right order.

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > fhrblig 07/22/2018 at 18:47

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planning to :).... doing shit the wrong way round is my m. o

its actually a longer running gripe that we never really dated.... needs rectifying

fhrblig > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/22/2018 at 18:47

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I felt the opposite only because I had some bad first dates. If a first date went well it ended up making me more relaxed for the second.

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/22/2018 at 18:50

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lol.. nope... same group of friends... used to meet up with friends eventually turned into turning up together to meet friends... it just happened

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > For Sweden 07/22/2018 at 18:52

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b ut w renching doesn’t lead to sex

WilliamsSW > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/22/2018 at 18:52

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Then you’re doing it wrong

For Sweden > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/22/2018 at 18:53

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Racecar > Sex

WilliamsSW > Sovande 07/22/2018 at 18:54

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Oh god those are the worst dates. Thank God I’m married now

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > fhrblig 07/22/2018 at 18:58

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First dates are easy for me. You can go in with no expectations and if things click, they click. If they don’t, you can part ways with no fuss. A second date means you’ve got their interest and now you have to figure out how  to keep it.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Sovande 07/22/2018 at 18:59

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That's, um, wow.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Ash78, voting early and often 07/22/2018 at 19:05

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When i go out with my wife sometimes its hard to talk about anything but kids, etc...

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > For Sweden 07/22/2018 at 19:05

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You must not yet have had sex then.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/22/2018 at 19:06

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It’s stressful for both of you tho. No worries, just roll with the punches and enjoy yourself.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > WilliamsSW 07/22/2018 at 19:07

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Wrenching only leads to sex if you have someone to show off your handines s to. Hence, dating.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 07/22/2018 at 19:08

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What the hell kind of dates have you been on that there’s been punches?

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/22/2018 at 19:10

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It’s rough and tumble in Montana.

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 07/22/2018 at 19:11

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You're lucky. That sounds wonderful. 

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/22/2018 at 19:13

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thanks :) i really cant complain

TheRealBicycleBuck > Sovande 07/22/2018 at 19:17

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Scarred or scared? 

Echo51 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/22/2018 at 19:26

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Or you wrench for people who aren’t afraid to pay by... alternative means, if you catch my drift!

(that payment won’t get you project car parts however..)

For Sweden > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/22/2018 at 19:33

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I know only what those who have had racecar know

WilliamsSW > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/22/2018 at 19:34

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I suppose...

But I’ve had so many horrible 1st dates, I do think that’s worse, on average. 

C62030 > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 07/22/2018 at 19:44

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Brotruck tow battles are usually a second -date thing. Casualties are unavoidable.

nermal > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/22/2018 at 19:59

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The key is breakfast. Always be prepared to take the first date back to your place, and make them an extravagant breakfast the next morning.

Worst case scenario they don’t go home with you, and you’ll still have an awesome breakfast (or two) to look forward to.

Sovande > TheRealBicycleBuck 07/22/2018 at 20:03

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Do I have to choose? 

Sovande > For Sweden 07/22/2018 at 20:04

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This is not true. 

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > C62030 07/22/2018 at 20:06

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In high school we used to say wrangler butts drive me nuts.

It’s cool though if your date has a bigger truck than you. That’s when you take their truck to the Montana Club for steaks.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > For Sweden 07/22/2018 at 20:08

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It depends on the race car.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > E90M3 07/22/2018 at 20:10

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Can she drive a manual car? If not then that’s the next date. 

E90M3 > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 07/22/2018 at 20:14

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The 3 is being stupid right now and no one is learning on the M3. I would love to teach someone how to drive stick.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > E90M3 07/22/2018 at 20:16

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I taught two teenager boys to drive stick in my Mazda in about 20 minutes. But that is an inexpensive car and cheap to fix by comparison. They enjoyed it.

E90M3 > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 07/22/2018 at 20:20

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I doubt she can drive a stick. I haven’t really talked about cars at all with her; I have mentioned I’ve got two cars, not to brag but to let her know I like cars.  Pretty sure she doesn’t really care about cars; she still drives her first car. That said, I think her parents had money so I could see her saying something like my dad taught me to drive stick on his 911. 

TheRealBicycleBuck > Sovande 07/22/2018 at 20:57

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Well, if you are scarred, then she’s dangerous and should be avoided. If you’re just scared, that could be nerves and you should get back in there.

Mercedes Streeter > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/22/2018 at 21:07

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Just got home from my third date with a new person. It started yesterday with me taking her to the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago, then hitting up a steampunk-ish restaurant. We then retired to her apartment where I stayed the night. <3

I think we may go to EAA next weekend. :3

I’m not ashamed to say that she checked all my boxes, then invented boxes that didn’t exist and checked those, too!

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Mercedes Streeter 07/22/2018 at 21:11

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We kinda did it the wrong way round...

Hit all the bases first and  now we’re going on dates.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/22/2018 at 21:16

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Fact: don’t stress about dates if you can’t be natural and relaxed with the person he/she isn’t “ the one”

Mercedes Streeter > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/22/2018 at 21:30

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That’s okay , been there and done that with so many partners! So long as it works out it doesn't matter how it starts. :)

Sovande > TheRealBicycleBuck 07/22/2018 at 21:32

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It was more emotional scarring. I’ll be fine.

I am an older dude with a kid and decidedly reserved approach to dating and commitment. Things are different when you have a kid. The selection process is more... selective, if you will. Online dating is bizarre and, frankly, I don’t like it. Sure, it’s an easy way to get laid, and it’s easy to bug out from those women if things go sideways, but man, you gotta wade through the weirdos to find someone with whom you actually click. And then you do find someone and you chat, and you set plans to meet and you get excited and then they bail and drop off the planet. And that’s fine and I get it, and it makes a first date so much less stressful than in a more traditional situation. I went to dinner with a woman who was insufferable, complained, sucked the air out of the room, etc. After I ate my entree, I told her I was going to the restroom, found the waiter, paid the bill and fucked off for home.

It’s a jungle out there. Buckle up, p ut a so ck on your pickle and avoid women with cats, hybrid cars and strong feelings about veganism and hot yoga, and accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior. 

functionoverfashion > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 07/22/2018 at 22:04

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Some of the first words exchanged between me and my wife (now of nearly 10 years) were, Whose car is that? / Mine. / Is it a manual? / Of course! (me asking her about a Volvo S40 in her driveway)

That was a good start, I can tell you. 

functionoverfashion > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/22/2018 at 22:17

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My first “date” with my wife involve me picking her up in a boat with two other people (guy/girl). Other girl in the boat was my sister. We introduced around, but I didn’t say I was related to anyone. Her initial assumption was that I was dating the other girl in the boat, and that this was just literally us picking up a new friend to go wakeboarding . The driver of the boat (the guy) wasn’t the owner - none of us owned the boat, we borrowed boats a LOT back then - and, while he was one of the best friends I’ve ever had, he’s kinda quiet at first, and also happens to be quite strong and has multiple tattoos, so if you didn’t know him, he’s pretty intimidating.

It got more awkward. I had some big scrape on my arm from mountain biking that my sister hadn’t seen yet, I guess. My wife (who was then of course just some random girl I was trying to hook up with) has a big birthmark on her right arm, like, it looks like a burn, it’s quite noticeable, and covers maybe 70% of her arm . I don’t notice it anymore, but anyway... my sister looks at me - and with her sunglasses on, you couldn’t tell where she was looking - and says, “What happened to your ARM?!” And before I could even reply, because I had forgotten about the scrap e, future-wife responds, “Oh, it’s just a birthmark! ” because she’s used to people asking her about it, although perhaps in a bit more tactful fashion. My sister was totally embarrassed - as was I - but looking back on it now, we laugh.

I guess you could say we recovered from that. But it wasn’t a great start you might say.

TheRealBicycleBuck > Sovande 07/22/2018 at 22:22

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I don’t envy you at all. I have two kids of my own and I’m still happily married... * knocks on wood*

Sovande > TheRealBicycleBuck 07/22/2018 at 22:39

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Stay happy! 

fhrblig > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/23/2018 at 00:26

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That’s how my relationship started, lol.

Sam > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/23/2018 at 03:49

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Just got out of a very odd one-month first-ever relationship last weekend (I’m 22, she was a first f or literally all the things) . Our consecutive dates were when I ended up living at her house for two weeks (definitely a major reason for the breakup, too fast, too soon. Also, freaking crazy right? ). She had far too much bag gage to be able to form a true relationship with me unfortunately.  What a lif e experience though.

First d ate with a seemingly amazing Ti nder match tonight tho (Monday). I have a decent feeling about it, but not getting my hopes too high. That relationship taught me a ton and I think, if we find a connection, I can do very well and I will hopefully test your hypothesis. This time with someone a little more normal, and not as young - she is almost my age. The other girl was a fresh 18, which was far too young.